My Adventures In Flashing

It’s Spring Break!  It’s also our 13th wedding anniversary on the 4th. Hubby and I are in New Orleans celebrating said anniversary as this article posts. WooHoo!!!

As many of my long-term readers know, I have been wanting to engage in random toplessness since I got the Twins a year ago on the 16th. Now I have my chance! I plan on flashing the Twins as much as I possibly can while in the French Quarter. I’m even tempted to flash in front of a cop.

Why, you ask? First of all, I am SO ecstatic to have breasts again that, even after a year,  I just want to share the love with everyone.

Second, it is not illegal to show them because I don’t have nipples. Breasts, in and of themselves, do not qualify as sexual organs. Nipples, however, do. And because I have no nipples, I’m not violating any statutes by showing my breasts.

Third, I fully expect double and triple takes BECAUSE I have no nips. I’m hoping people, even in their drunken stupors, will ask the big question “What the hell happened to YOU??” At which point I can educate them on the dangers and risks of plastic surgery.

Fourth, my boobs are already on the internet so I don’t care if there are more photos that get taken and put up.

So it’s a combination of pride and a desire to educate that’s leading me to rampantly flash strange, drunken men in hopes that women will see, too. I almost wish I would have gone when I was still mangled. THAT would have scared drunken frat boys into sobriety.

I’ll report on this adventure afterward. Or I’ll be tweeting from jail (My main Twitter is @Herbwoman). Either way you’ll hear about it.

 

Erect Nipples

I just got an email from Dr Elliott at Atlanta Plastic Surgery regarding the articles I sent him on cartilage banking. If you’ll read the banking article I wrote you’ll see that I expressed big concerns about nipple collapse.

I have read that in many cases, within 2 months reconstructed nipples flatten out. I’ve reported this on this blog before so of course I’ve told Dr. Elliott my concerns. He addressed them in this latest email.

According to him, he makes the nipples twice as large as normal in order to combat the shrinkage issue. He said that he had never had to use cartilage and he reassured me that this procedure will be much easier than before.

He also made a point of telling me that in 90% of the cases, the nipples he does will not flatten. Of course, being the skeptic I am, considering everything I have been through, I’ll be holding my breath and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The good news is that I won’t have to undergo anything as invasive as harvesting rib cartilage. I’m just going to have to wait for the results after I’ve scheduled surgery. I’m just frustrated, sad and angry that I and my family have to go through all of this in the first place.