The following article was written by my husband Ken in response to readers who have asked for his point of view of the last three years.
***Several people in response to this blog have asked the question. How did I as a husband deal with all the crap that Maria has been going through the last three years?
Did I want to kill the doctor?
Let’s take the second question first. In a word, yes. I still do. Well, not kill him, then what would he learn? But maim him so that he has to retire. Yes. But, being the moral person I am I can’t. Might I hire someone else one day? Ummm, maybe.
As you know it’s not worth taking the guy to court. And according to our settlement we can’t name him. But we can inform the world about the risks involved with elective plastic surgery and the complications that doctors don’t tell you about.
Now back to the first question. (Sigh) Well, from the beginning I was a little worried about the cost. But Maria made such a good case for having the procedure that I agreed.
That was not an issue when things started going south. We were going to see Doc two and three times a week. I felt pretty helpless, but I was there to support Maria. I knew she was shielding me from a lot of what was going on. I still haven’t seen the pictures from the worst of it. And probably never will.
Thank God for the doctor’s office staff finding the VAC machine. I don’t think we would be here now without that. I considered working for the company after our experience with the machine.
I’m rambling a bit. Anyway, I focused on what needed to be done that particular day or time. Did I feel put upon? Yes. Like I had to do EVERYTHING, yes. As any caregiver will tell you, that’s the price of being the support for someone who can’t stand on their own. If you’re in the situation I was, when things are fairly stable go do something. Get out of the situation for a bit, even if it’s only an hour or two. You can’t go 100% all the time. If you fall, everything does.
My advice is plan for the worst and hope things go perfectly. Find the best doctor you can. If he’s too expensive for your budget, then WAIT. Don’t settle for whom you can afford. Set aside at least 100% more than the total cost of the procedure as an insurance policy if there are complications. This will cover time lost from work, travel and the like.
What do you call the guy who graduated at the BOTTOM of his medical class? Doctor. And any MD can call himself a plastic surgeon. Think about that when you’re considering the guy who will do an augmentation for $2000.
If there is anyone who needs to talk or write please feel free. I am happy to talk with anyone and do what I can to help out. I know Maria is talking to several readers going through things similar to what she went through. If there are husbands/caregivers who need to talk, send them my way. You can contact me through this blog.****