Shutting Down

17 Mar

First, I’m sorry about the length of time between posts. We lost my husband’s father and things have been really chaotic dealing with family issues, memorial planning, etc. Things will be returning to normal on Monday.

Second, I want to talk more about my nipple dilemma. There will be extra money soon and I’ll have the capability of scheduling the nipple reconstruction. I’m scared. I’m not mind-numbingly terrified the way I was when I scheduled my breast reconstruction. But I’m still frightened of something going wrong.

The main *something* is, of course, my old nemesis, necrosis. I love my Twins. They have their little flaws but what breasts don’t? So why fix what isn’t broken? Because somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m still not complete.

Yet, whenever I think about actually doing it, I start to shut down. I feel like curling in on myself. I don’t know if I’m really ready. I want to just be done with it but I’m scared.

Has anyone out there had nipple reconstruction? Would you share your story, good or bad, with me please?


2 responses to “Shutting Down

  1. lonestar

    March 20, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    Don’t have experiences with reconstruction… just reading your blog and wanted to send you a hug. I’ve had my share of health crises and although they’re not the same as yours, I can relate to the fear, feeling alone in the fear (even if we’re not literally alone), and the trauma to mind, body, and spirit. Woman to woman I send you healing energy and support.

  2. lulupanache

    April 10, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    l can relate to what you are saying as having necrosis myself and l am not a good healer l to feel unsure about having nipples done, my sisters look fab but she had straight forward healing and no necrosis.
    l am going to take my time and think on it as l feel if they just get this necrosis excised and get my boobs looking something like l will be happy to stay at that incae it flares up again. l wish you luck.


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