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Fearful

04 Jul

In previous installments I’ve talked about the changes that I’m going through and the adjustments I’m making now that the main part of the reconstruction is over with. From a purely clinical standpoint it’s interesting to stand back and watch the changes. From an internat standpoint it’s frustrating and gut-wrenching.

For those who have seen my photos, it’s obvious that I’m overweight. For the sake of my heath I should drop some pounds.  I’m not fit and surgical recovery aside, I have pretty low endurance. Ideally I should excercise and get in shape even if I do it slowly and take my time building up.

The problem is, I’m afraid to. I’m afraid of what will happen to the new Girls if I lose weight. They’re proportional now. Will they shrink if I drop weight? Will the skin get really loose and will I have to have another surgery to fix that? I feel stupid asking what *I* think sounds like inane questions. I know the new Girls are made of my own muscle, fat and skin. I just don’t  really know in what proportions.

I’m afraid that losing weight and having them shrink up alot would be like losing my breasts all over again. I *should* ask Dr. Elliott about it. I just feel like an idiot asking a question like that.

 

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