Today I was reminded of a valuable lesson thanks to a new friend on Twitter. @onceatweeter reminded me that I need to relax more and stop worrying so much about what others think about my new, revealing Twitter icon.
I am, admittedly, nervous and sensitive about people’s reaction to my new Girls. I’m not really sure why either. Granted the new icon, which I will post in full size below, is pretty revealing. Perhaps I’m afraid of being perceived as a slut? It saddens me that I am unable, right now at least, to set those fears aside and allow myself to wallow in this exercise in joy.
There is part of me that is still afraid that something will happen and I will lose my new Girls again. That part has me paralyzed. I wanted to join in and make boobie jokes with the others but my fear held me back. Even when @onceatweeter sent me direct messages reassuring me that she had meant no harm and that I shouldn’t worry about what anyone else might think.
I’ve spent the last two years worrying about what other people think though. I adjusted my wardrobe to minimize people’s exposure to my mangled chest. I wore bulky boy-style clothes so often I didn’t think of myself as feminine anymore. When the necrosis first developed I bent over backwards to make certain my family wasn’t exposed to the hideousness of what was happening until I had no other choice.
I’ve been worrying and hiding myself for so long I’ve made myself sensitive to ANY reaction to my new girls. I suppose I need to file this under the adjustments I still have to make. Thanks again to @onceatweeter on Twitter for helping me realize that I still have a long way to go.
As a step forward and as promised, here is the larger photo.