This afternoon after taking a shower some of the tape came up on my left breast. I found a small 1/4 inch spot of infection that had separated. On further investigation, there are two more spots on my back that are infected with very slight separations. I’m guessing that means this infection is systemic.
I am, of course, freaking out. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I have the taste of bile in the back of my throat. My family keeps trying to reassure me that these are only tiny areas and it’s been caught and is being addressed. Unfortunately, much like other survivors of trauma, I’m having flashbacks to when the sutures ripped open and I had the gigantic open wounds in my chest.
My thoughts are, of course, a chaotic jumble ranging anywhere from unreasonably blaming Ken for this to thinking that maybe this is some sort of punishment for being an Atheist. Like I said, I’ve basically lost my mind. I spent so much time waiting for the other shoe to drop. When it didn’t, I relaxed and started to believe that everything was actually going to be okay. This is what I get. I KNEW there was another shoe. There’s ALWAYS another shoe.
Ken took photos and I emailed them directly to Dr. Elliott. I’m planning on going to see his associate here in town first thing in the morning.