If I Should Die Before I Wake

16 Apr

Now we come to one part that everyone hate talking about. Death. Even with all of the wonders of modern medicine, people still die on the table during surgery. It only takes one “oops” and I become nothing more than a slab of cooling meat that once was Maria Myrback.

I just spent the last 45 minutes writing up my Living Will. I’ve told them that they are to use every measure at their disposal to keep me alive UNLESS I am brain dead or serious brain damage has occurred. At that point they are to harvest all the useable organs and creamate the leftovers.

It has been rather freeing for me to talk about my death and what I want. I’m really not afraid to die. I’m not looking FORWARD to it, mind you. I’ve just come to accept that I am mortal and some day my body will cease to function. That is simply the way human beings evolved. You’re born, you live and you die.  No one, after all, gets out of here alive.

I’ve made arrangements to be creamated after all of my useable organs are harvested. My husband (hopefully it will actually be my kids because I don’t forsee anything going wrong tomorrow) will have a memorial service that consists of a big party! Open bar, food, the whole nine yards. At some point people will be invited to share memories and there will be a couple of poetry readings. One will be “Death Is Nothing At All” and the other will be the poem my father wrote for me when I was 5 years old.

Ideally I would have liked my body to be put on a wooden barge, pushed out into the middle of a lake and set on fire. Yes, I want a Viking funeral. Sadly, that’s no longer legal except in Minnesota and I can’t find any details on it. If anyone knows anything, please email me with the heading “Viking Funeral”.

With that option pretty much being out, that just leaves the standard creamation. Then my ashes will be placed in my “Deadly Nightshade” urn < then click on “detailed description” to see more photos of it> and they’ll be at the party along with Disney Mouse Ears on the urn. After that, I cannot reveal the plans for my ashes because what I have planned for their disposition is highly illegal. Bwahahahahaha!!!

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Posted by on April 16, 2009 in Uncategorized


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