Admit It

09 Apr

This morning I was up early to do the phone appointment with a nurse at Northside Hospital.  I answered all the questions on the hospital admission forms and made my initial cash installment. Now all that’s left is my pre-surgical appointment on the 15th at 1:30.

Once the paperwork was done, the nurse explained the process to me. I’ll be expected to be there two hours before surgery. They’ll finish up any last minute paperwork, get signatures, etc. Then I’ll be given a sedative to help me relax.  They’ll pop the IV in and before I’m wheeled into surgery I’ll be out like the proverbial light.

Afterward, when I wake up, the nurse in recovery will ask me to rate my pain level and I’ll be medicated accordingly.

Next week by this time I may well be in recovery…with brand new BOOBIES!!! YAY!

Now here’s the REAL admission: I’m nervous. I know the procedure is scheduled and paid for. I know on an intellectual level that everything will go just fine. I’m a bit nervous about being in pain. I’m also nervous about possible complications but I have a world class doctor and a great hospital.

I’ve been told repeatedly these feelings are natural.  The nurse today said as much too. I guess I’m just going to have to deal with it as best as I can. My only other alternative that I can think of is to cancel the surgery. We all know THAT isn’t an option.

I wish I knew of another way to ease these feelings. It’s not the feeling of stark terror I had last year at the thought of another surgery. It’s just a low lying uneasiness. I’ve tried to do deep breathing. I’ve tried distracting myself and that seems to work for a little while.

I’m just holding on to the knowledge that it will all be better soon.

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Posted by on April 9, 2009 in Uncategorized


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