I have been pondering this for probably a year now and I would LOVE to get opinions.
When I was a kid I was pretty tom boy-ish. I loved to play with trucks and cars. Usually I was outside playing with the neighborhood boys. I got along better with boys than I did with girls back then.
Sure, I had a Barbie and clothes that my grandmother made. So I’d dress her up. It was pretty rare that *I* wore a dress though. As a teenager it became even more of a rarity. We lived in Wyoming and I had my own horse. Most of the time I was outside doing chores. We also had goats and my rabbits, so I was always outside in jeans and a tee shirt doing something with the animals.
When I went to college, those habits of wearing jeans and tee shirts followed me. The only times I wore a skirt or dress was for forensics events. Yes, I was on the Debate team but I did dramatic readings. My favorite was always my duet reading of “Rosencrantz and Guildenstren Are Dead”.
Then, I met my first husband and subsequently we had two sons in rapid succession. So anything even vaguely resembling femininity went right out the window. It’s hard to be girly when you have toddlers you’re trying to potty train.
Later on after my divorce and a couple failed dating experiences, I tried being more feminine. I discovered that I do like the concept of high heels. So many of them are like sculpture. But when it comes to wearing them, I just can’t do it for more than a few hours. My feet hurt so bad.
On the other hand, I was half owner of a web based Renaissance fashions company. I have four Elizabethan gowns and countless other styles besides. I think my Ren Faire wardrobe is bigger than my regular dressy wardrobe.
But, again, there’s the problem with duration. I really can’t be in full garb for more than a few hours. It’s exhausting being in an Elizabethan corset, hoop skirt, overskirt, underskirt, blouse, bodice, tights and bloomers. I much prefer my Pirate garb: Breeches, a shirt, vest and boots.
Or, if I DO wear a dress it’s my overdress over my long cotton shift.
Unless I’m going in warrior garb because I have leather Hercules bracers and a steel reinforced leather waist cincher that are actually combat ready.
Now we come to the reason I’m telling you all of this. After the complications and losing my breasts I noticed that I never really dress in anything girly or frilly. Sure I wear colors that go with my hair, but the only time I’ve worn anything feminine was the dress I wore to our son’s graduation almost a year ago. More often than not it’s jeans, a tee shirt and a long sleeved shirt over that.
I have to wonder how much of this is related to losing my breasts. Sure I’m not a girly girl. I don’t wear frilly dresses and make up. But I wonder if I will change after my reconstructive surgery. Will I start wearing low cut femenine things? Will I start wearing heels and dresses? Probably not, but I just don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m missing breasts NOW that has been pushing me in more of a masculine direction clothing wise.
What’s interesting to note is that my Mom, Kay Moore, who is a 20+ year cancer survivor who had a double radical mastectomy, dresses frilly and girly and she trains working dogs for a living. When she goes to a stock dog trial she’s wearing a tartan skirt, blouse and a bodice. SHE makes an effort to look feminine.
Perhaps this is an individual response, then, based on background?
I would love to hear opinions so please leave a comment.