05.15.09
Hooters
At 4:30 today I got the right side drain removed. YAY! I also found out one of the reasons that the drain site is so sensitive. Dr. Roxanne Guy said that there was something called “proud flesh” at the site. According to a medical website “Proud flesh is an excessive growth of granulation tissue that has the appearance of cauliflower. It usually develops over an open wound, and most often occurs in areas of excessive tension and motion”.
Granulation tissue is the perfused, fibrous connective tissue that replaces a fibrin clot in healing wounds. Granulation tissue typically grows from the base of a wound and is able to fill wounds of almost any size it heals. In other words it’s the brand new flesh.
In other words, my skin was trying to heal OVER the drain site and the drain was in the way. Since I only had one stitch holding it in (I tore the other one clear out last Friday night) the drain itself tended to wobble around causing tension at the site. On top of the proud flesh and raw granulation tissue, the site is also infected. AND there were fiberous tissue strands trying to come out of the drain as well. So it’s just been a pain fiesta at that drain site. 31 flavors of pain, to quote Scott Sigler’s book “Contagious”. Which, if you haven’t started listening yet, you’re SERIOUSLY missing out.
Dr. Guy also looked at one of the suture sites on my back. She removed a greenish string of matter about an inch and a half long from that site. It’s just a very small area but as a preventative measure she wants us to do wet to dry dressings for a little while.
A wet to dry dressing is gauze that has been dampened with saline and packed into the site. It is left for several hours to dry. When it is removed, it has stuck to the matter that needs to be removed so it debrieds the area. Debridement: The act of debriding (removing dead, contaminated or adherent tissue or foreign material)
Don’t worry, there isn’t any dead tissue. She just wants to make sure the little area gets cleaned up so that it will heal properly. I am not overly concerned. After what I’ve been through, a 1 1/2 inch long area is really easy to deal with.
After seeing Dr. Guy I was absolutely ravenous! I haven’t been that hungry in a VERY long time. So we stopped by Hooters since it was on the way home. It is SO nice to feel like I’m on par with these beautiful women. We sat and talked with our server, Ashley, about the state of the economy and other political things that I’ll spare you the details of since this isn’t a political blog.
Ashley WAS right about one thing though. The chocolate mousse cake there really IS almost better than sex.
05.12.09
Turning A Corner?
Two days ago I was talking to my mother, who has been through MUCH more medical crap that any human being should EVER have to endure. She said that soon I would have to start learning to differantiate between pain and stiffness. There IS a difference. Pain does not improve with movement. In fact movement simply makes pain worse. Stiffness, however, is eased with movement until the body feels nearly normal again.
This morning I woke after only about four hours of sleep feeling very sore and stiff. I went to use my usual method of rolling out of bed only to discover that it was MUCH easier to get up. I was really surprised. It’s actually a bit of a shock at how quickly I seem to have started turning a corner. There are still spots, like my triceps, that hurt but don’t top out at more than a 1 on the pain scale. Of course the spot where I ripped the stitch is still a but tender. All in all things are getting easier though.
I am by no means totally there and I’m going to have to take things slow still to make sure that I don’t overdo and really hurt myself. I still have muscle relaxers for when I need them and two different types of pain meds if and/or when I should need those.
I think the thing that’s the worst right now is the lack of sleep. I’m so very tired right now but I can’t really sleep. I just got up. I need to eat because I’m nauseous from lack of sleep and I’ve GOT to move around more. Plus there is morning maintainence to be done. I’m just so tired. I’ll probably take a nap in a bit after everything else has been accomplished.
In the mean time, I’m relieved that it looks like I may finally be turning a corner.
Post Surgical Depression
From what I’ve been reading, lots of people go through this. Whether it’s hip replacement, heart surgery, cosmetic surgery or something else altogether, many people have bouts of post surgical depression. Personally, as happy and relieved as I am to have this done with, I never expected to be one of those people.
At first I had no idea why I was crying. So I broke out my laptop and googled the subject. The more I read, the more I began to understand. I expected to just have new pretty breasts and then go on with my life. I was fairly active before the surgery, able to accomplish thing and now there are times when I can’t get up without help. I expected to recover faster. I expected something different and sometimes I’m scared that because I’m not recovering faster maybe there’s something wrong.
Logically, expecting to be back to my old self in a little over 3 weeks might be a bit unreasonable. A part of me still thinks that I should be able to do everything I was able to do before April 16th. I still think that I SHOULD be able to do more than I’m doing. When I realize I can’t, it’s kind of a brutal wake up call. I have to remind myself that this is recovery and that there is nothing wrong. How I feel is supposedly normal.
My reading tells me that post surgical depression is caused by a number of factors. It could be anesthesia, which stays in the system up to a month. It could be a side effect of the pain meds. It could be unmet mental expectations. Pain, discomfort, disturbed sleep and constipation can also contribute to post surgical depression. All in all, according to my reading, if you’re not feeling like yourself and you expect to, like I do, that’s really going to wear on you.
I just wish I knew what to do about this.
05.11.09
Flagstone Minefield
Yesterday afternoon after some debate, we made the 90 min. trek to Disney. We rented a wheel chair for $10 and Ken pushed me around all afternoon. The trip over was bearable but I DID get a bit motion sick about 20 min. in. So I popped a few pieces of candied Ginger. It really is wonderful stuff and it got rid of the nausea and dizziness in about 5-10 minutes. It’s important to start eating it when you begin feeling motion sick though. I have yet to find anything that will fix motion sickness when you’re in the midst of it.
I also ended up taking half a hydrocodone before we even got there because I was spiking about a 5 or 6 on the pain scale. It’s not the bumps, it’s the vibrations from the road that really are the worst part of traveling. I’ve talked to others about this too and they all agree with me that it’s the road vibration that really makes riding painful.
When we got to Magic Kingdom, Ken maneuvered our way into the Minnie parking lot and found a space closest to the entrance in the row behind the handicapped parking row. I stayed put, still waiting for the pain pill to kick in, while Ken walked across to the main handicapped lot to grab a wheelchair.
The way it works at MK is that you use the parking lot wheelchairs aka the really crappy ones, to get to the gift shop by ticketing. Then you pay the $10 rental fee and transfer over to the better wheel chair with the wider seat. From there it’s up the ramp to the monorail.
The monorail then, after going through the Contemporary Resort, stops at Magic Kingdom. Then it’s down the ramp to the turn styles. We went to one of the gates that either wheelchairs or parents with strollers can use and a cast member ran our passes through the machine. We were in.
Usually the first stop is the Haunted Mansion but as we were both half starved we decided to stop by The Plaza restaurant on Main Street and see if they had any openings. Unfortunately, the next availability was in 30 min. Too long for us. So we headed for Tomorrowland and Cosmic Ray’s.
It’s really surprising how oblivious people can be to anything that is below normal line of sight. So I indugled in some cheerful “BeepBeep!” sounds when folks would stop directly in front of us. The park wasn’t very crowded so that didn’t happen too often.
Once food had been consumed, we headed for Haunted Mansion in Liberty Square by way of Fantasyland. Now HERE is where the flagstone minefield comes into play. Remember earlier I mentioned vibrations? Well wheelchairs have less shock absorbing capabilities so running over very rough flagstones such as are ALL OVER on the ground in Fantasyland, is rather like being IN a jackhammer. There are concrete paths around these islands of flagstone but it’s quite a bit like being in a mine field. The worst area for it was up by Ariel’s Grotto and Pinocchio’s. Unfortunately, that’s where we got caught.
Once we were out of that particular area of Fantasyland, it got much easier to deal with as the paths are all concrete.
As far as the attractions themselves, I had to walk the farthest for Haunted Mansion. They’ve worked out the best way to get people past the cue but after that, you’re still standing. Pirates of the Caribbean will let you roll all the way down to where you get on the boats. There they give you a tag so that you can retrieve the correct wheelchair after you come out. But you still have to walk from the boat, through the gift shop, back to the entrance to retrieve your chair.
The BEST attraction we went on for a wheelchair was Jungle Cruise. They have a boat that you just roll right onto. Then the lift swivels around and settles you in facing forward and you’re locked in nice and safe. No muss, no fuss.
There was also Philharmagic, which is a 3-D movie and for that you just roll into a space and watch the show. Also easy-peasy. By the time we’d eaten, done a little pin hunting and rode a few things, I was done for the day. So I popped another half a hydrocodone and we headed home.
This time I folded up the spare sweatpants I keep in the car for emergencies and used that as a cushion for my back. That really cut down on the vibrations and made the 90 min. ride home MUCH more tollerable. That, and we caught up with the last few episodes of the Geologic Podcast. A good dose of Geo always helps.
To review: Candied Ginger is your friend; Fantasyland is a Flagstone Minefield; Jungle Cruise is the best wheelchair-friendly ride and Sweatpants make a great cushion.
05.09.09
A Pain In The Drain – Part 2
Twice a day we do what we’ve come to called Morning or Evening Maintenance. That’s when the one remaining drain gets milked and gauze gets changed out as needed. This morning when Ken was changing the bandage on my back he found that the gauze around the remaining drain had a dime-sized area of dried blood on it. Apparently I did some damage to myself last night after all. The more Ken gently pulled off the gauze the more he could see that I HAD ripped out a stitch. He very gingerly trimmed it off and re bandaged the area. Since it was only one of the stitches holding in the drain, it’s not a big deal. There’s still one other doing its job. The area is VERY tender, but it will be alright in a few days.
It’s really depressing because I wanted to try going to Disney today. Maybe tomorrow?
A Pain In The Drain
Early this morning I had the worst pain that I’ve had since the first time I tried to get out of bed at the hospital. I don’t know how I managed it either. As I was getting into bed, somehow I caught the hose of the drain up under me and it got pulled on. HARD. The pain was unbelievable, ranking right up there with giving birth to my first child.
After 10 minutes of laying there trying not to breathe too deeply I finally reached over and woke Ken. I really was convinced that I had torn something open and not necessarily the stitch holding in the drain. I thought I had ripped open part of my back, from what I was feeling. He took a look and fortunately found no such stitch ripping anywhere.
And so went my 4 am bedtime adventure.
Getting in and out of bed are feats of gymnastics as it is. In order to minimize movement, I have developed methods for getting in and out of bed that evoke less pain. Getting IN to bed, I line up with where I want my lower back to be when it hits the pile of pillows I’m still sleeping propped up on. Then, standing with my calves pressed up against the bed frame, I lift up on my toes and very gently toss myself backwards. Then I’ll lift up my left leg and bring it into alignment with my left hip, followed by my right. Occasionally I’m a bit off so I’ll gently scooch backwards using the “butt cheek crawl” method. That consists of inching back one tush cheek at a time by digging in a heel and gingerly pushing myself backwards into the awaiting pile of pillows..
Getting out is just as much of an adventure, if not more-so. When I get up I’m usually stiff, cramped and in a little bit of pain because only the leading edge of the pain pill has done its job thus far. Rolling is, by far, the easiest way to get out of bed. I simply slide my right leg off the edge of the bed and lean slightly on my right shoulder. Then I follow with my left leg and slowly slide until my right foot is firmly on the floor. Then using my right hand, I’ll push up SLOWLY on the corner of my end table letting my left foot touch the floor. Then, in slow, tiny increments I’ll push myself upright. It’s at that point during the inching and the actual achievement of an upright status that the pain really starts to flare up and hit its peak. By the time I’m sitting up, my body needs a few minutes to adjust. It also takes a few minutes for the pain level to drop so that I can breathe. It’s also during that stage that I get the feeling that there’s an elephant with barbed wire boots standing on my chest. Either that or some jackass has smacked me in the chest with a Cricket bat. Surprisingly the place in my chest that I feel it the most is in my cleavage.
I’m still hopeful that people in a similar condition will find this blog and, more importantly, find it to be useful information. During my initial stages I couldn’t find a single photo of necrotic breast tissue so I had no idea what I was dealing with. That’s the reason I try to talk about this entire experience at least somewhat candidly. So that someone else who is scared and feeling very alone knows You Are Not Alone. Someone else has been through this before you. And of course I will always be happy to answer any questions. Just ask.
My First Successful Outing
I’m really liking how well the Hydrocodone is working for me. It *does* make me sleepy but that really isn’t a bad thing. Extra sleep helps my body heal faster so I can’t complain. I am SO much more functional with this med than with the Oxy or the Darvocet.
This afternoon, as mentioned previously, I called Dr. Guy’s office and talked to a couple of her people. They, of course, had to verify that Dr. Elliott had indeed contacted her office. After that breif wait, I was given an appointment time of 4pm. Funny thing when the woman on the phone asked if that was an ok time I said sure and let her know where we would be comming from. She said “Really? Where in Palm Shores”
“Palm Shore Estates”
“Really? Where at?
So I gave her my address and she replied excitedly “Get OUT! I live at _______” Turns out she lives just around the corner from us!
Anyway, long story short (Too late for that) We got there at 4 and the left drain was pulled from my back. One down one to go. Now the PA was intrigued by the incisions on my back because she had never seen a Latissimus Flap done before. So of course I excitedly asked if she wanted to see my new boobies. (Yes, I’ve turned into a bit of an exhibitionist). She was quite impressed with Dr. Elliott’s work and was very happy for me.
I’ve decided that next year I’m going to Mardi Gras. My goal is to earn enough beads that I don’t have to wear a shirt.
After visiting Dr. Guy’s office, Ken and I went to see the new Star Trek. Even though I was spiking a 4 on the 1-10 Oh-My-God-It-Really-Fuckin-Hurts scale by the time the movie was over, it was worth every little bit of owchies. I’m not so sure I’m up for a long trip yet. We may just have to wait and see. Perhaps Sunday will be a Disney Day. It really depends on 1) How I’m feeling and 2) Whether my kids are planning anything for Mother’s Day.
05.08.09
Wheee? Oui!
I just don’t know HOW I’m going to manage going to Dr. Guy’s office today for drain removal. I’m dizzy and a tad bit nauseous. I think it might be from taking the hydrocodone on an empty stomach. I asked Ken to pour me a bowl of cereal, so I’m hoping that food will stem the tide of the nausea.
Yesterday the left drain only yielded 20mls of serous fluid so I need to get the drain out. I don’t even have to SEE Dr. Guy. I just need one of her people to nip the stitches that are holding the drain in place and remove the drain. What the other nurse had me do to remove the drains in my chest was to take a deep breath in then, as I exhaled, she pulled it out. The exhaling keeps the victim…er, patient, from gasping or clenching up and possibly squeaking from surprise. It doesn’t really hurt to have them removed. It’s more of a surprise.
I’ll report back after drain removal.
My Doctor’s Pants Are Aflame
This morning Ken called Dr. Elliott’s office to let him know that the Darvocet wasn’t working for me. A little while later Suzanne called back and said that I should check my email. Sure enough there was a note from Dr. Elliott. So I wrote back and described how the Darvocet was kicking my ass AND not working very well.
Ken let her know what was going on and she said she would get in touch with Dr. Elliott too. A few minutes later, Dr. Elliott himself called me. He said he didn’t want me going back up in pain meds since i was on the Darvocet. He also said that the nausea and dizziness were normal.
I proceeded to argue my case and after a minute or so he capitulated saying he’d send in the script. Ken went to run errands not long after and in that process he picked up my meds. When he got home I ripped open the bag and yanked the little orange bottle from it’s bonds fully prepared to see the word Oxycodone cleary printed on the label. After all he DID say he’d call in the script.
Imagine my surprise when I saw the word Hydrocodone instead. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a BIG fan of the Codiene. It’s always been my favorite in the narcotics family. It has always worked the best for me in that I have no nausea and I can actually THINK clearly on it.
BUT that man LIED to me! There for his pants are aflame. I don’t know whether to be pleased with the replacement or pissed that he lied. Since there really isn’t anything I can do about it and he DID give me something that works, I think I’ll settle for a mixture of gratitude and mild annoyance.
05.07.09
Darvocet Disappointment
Yesterday I tried using the new pain killer, Darvocet, that Dr. Elliott prescribed. It only worked for 2 and a 1/2 to 3 hours at a whack. The script was for every four hours. There was no WAY I could have made it four hours. Because of it I found a new type of pain in my chest. There was an elephant wearing barbed wire boots standing on my chest. Not to mention the overpowering nausea even WITH the anti-nausea patch. There was also the MAJOR dizziness. Darvocet just doesn’t work for me.
Ken has called twice now but Thursday IS a surgery day. There’s a chance we won’t hear from nnyone until late this afternoon. The scary thing is that I’m down to 1/2 an oxy. When that’s gone I have to go back to the Darvocet. Or maybe just a muscle relaxer will do the trick.
While I was typing, Suzanne from the office called to let me know that dr. Elliott was headed for the airport. Ten minutes after that he called. He’s going to call in the script for me. I DID have to make a case for it though. I argued for just another weeks worth and explained that I really felt that this was only temporary. In another week the Darvocet would probably work just fine. And I’m really taking SUCH a small ammount and it lasts longer than the Darvocet. So he agreed.
I’m guessing that Ken will be able to pick it up in about an hour or so.
In other good news, I actually slept through the night! Went to sleep around 11 and woke up about 12 hours later. I’m so relieved. I DID wake up and go to the bathroom at one point. With a few hypnosis techniques (counting breaths and visualization) I was able to go right back to sleep. If anyone is intereted in learning more about those techniques I’m happy to answer any questions.